ITS NOT OVER TILL THE FAT MAN PEES

I took my family to an amusement park and we rode something I'll call the Omega Hammers.
Our two boys were both tall enough for this scary ride and the four of us sat toward the back of the left hammer. They keep tilting the hammer back to load more people onto the arm we were on. About ten rows in front they boarded the last rider. It took some time for the ride attendant to lock down the lap bar because the last to board was a four hundred pound man.
Finally the lap bar was locked in place and the ride began. No more than two swings of the arms and the fat man begins to scream that he has to pee. Soon everyone on the ride is screaming to the ride attendant to stop the ride. Forward and backwards, faster and higher we all keep screaming to the ride attendant to stop the ride but he can't hear us. With each upswing we get more hang time and the fat man begins to scream he can't hold it any more. I comfort my sons by telling them its only fat man pee and it won't kill us. Luck is with us and the fat man pees with our backs to the upswing. The three rows below the fat man catches the worst of it. People on the ride that were peed on began cursing the man with his bladder clamped by a lap bar. On the downswing the man begins to cry apologizing as he does. Now we brace ourselves for the upswing facing forward and the rain of urine to come. Luck is with us again and the yellow rain stops five rows in front of us. Now the hammer arm goes upside down and as we hang there before the first rotation our hammer is full of angry shouts and the other hammer a few feet away is strangely silent. They stare at the angry mob trapped in a amusement park ride.
The ride seems to go on forever but finally comes to a stop and as my family and I walk away we see the attendant trying to get the lap bar lose as people threaten the fat man.
My family and I are just glad its over.