E-mail blues

I never get enough real E-mails.

Oh, the excitement when I look to see if I got an E-mail.

Only to find the evil spam.

I was a human catapult

"If you jump off the end of this metal plate I'll kill you!"

"Calm down, I'm not going anywhere!"

"I mean it Robert, I'll kill you!"

"What kind of nut job are you? I'm not going anywhere!"

"I'll kill you, I mean it! I'll really will kill you!"

"Look we're both counter weights to the little crane till its bolted down. We're four stories high on this roofing job. If either one of us bails the other one is dead. For the last time I'm not going anywhere! Shut up! You're making me a nervous wreak!"

Star Warts

Not so long ago and only 60 miles from where I live now..........

STAR WARTS

I'm a wart wisher. I through the power of my infinite imagination can wish warts off my hands.


I have read many Science Fiction and UFO books.


I am a very emotional person.


I had a dream after a terrible argument with my then wife, that a UFO full of silly looking aliens had taking me aboard. I woke up from that dream and had a pattern of seven warts in the shape of a M between my navel and my crouch. After 24 hours the warts disappeared.


Does wart wishing work in reverse in a dream state?